A (fake) Dialog between Depeche Mode and their Best Friend

All celebrity responses are fictitious and impersonated for parody, maybe even satire.

ME:  Great, I've got your attention Depeche Mode!  Thanks for talking to me, I know you're busy.

DM:  We love our fans.  You've got it Wrong.

ME:  Remember, I'm not just a fan!  As you read in the last post, I'm your best friend.  I'm reading what you've been saying about me.  You've made no effort to hide how you feel.  And now with Spirit you're poking me in the eye, making it clear you really don't like me.

DM:  Oh, I get it, you're offended by the political bent.

ME:  Please, don't be lazy.  If I was a knee-jerk type I would have written you a lot sooner.  I don't discard people based on political feelings.  After all, people are people...

DM:  Then just how am I refusing to understand you?

ME:  You asked if religion is making my decisions.  Whether that's intended to cause a sudden realization or just provoke me, it seems like the first time you've really broken the fourth wall.

DM:  So answer the question, best friend.  Don't you see that religion is forcing people to act a certain way?

ME:  Your premise in the lyric is that people of faith somehow stop thinking whenever beliefs get in the way.  It makes it easier to categorize folks!  But to describe how real people live, It's No Good.  Take, for example, the controversial idea of virginity before marriage.  A religion may teach a 15-year old girl that sex relations are off the table before until she's got a spouse.  Before she starts dating, our Little 15-er can decide to:

1. make a decision to avoid sexually-vulnerable situations

2. allow physical instincts to run their course, suggested as inevitable by popular culture

Which choice requires actual reasoning?  If she could see all the possible consequences for each choice, would that change the answer?

DM:  You just proved my point:  kids don't make these decisions, they are forced on them by parents and religious leaders.

ME:  Even if I accepted that dumb generalization, shouldn't the value of a rule be judged by the outcome?  There's centuries of evidence supporting traditional values and the happiness that comes from strong families.  This is old news to parents who are teaching their values out of love for their kids, and is completely rational for anyone who wants to have family around throughout their lives.  Reasoning will actually tend to strengthen faith, while making decisions on emotion and physical impulses requires less thought.

DM:  Look, I've had some tough experiences.  You live in a fantasy culture.

ME:  Please, tell me what you mean!

 

(to be continued...)